Evil or Good or both?

People desire to separate their worlds into polarities of dark and light, ugly and beautiful, good and evil, right and wrong, inside and outside. Polarities serve us in our learning and growth, but as souls we are all.

Joy Page - American Actress

When I was a little girl I made a promise to God to live, perfectly, so I could take friends and family members place in hell, if they weren’t saved by the time they died. My view of God was really one of hellfire. If you didn’t follow His commands and take Jesus as your savior, you were going to Hell. My little 12 year old heart’s intention was from love – and a ton of fear. I was going to be their back up plan if Jesus couldn’t save them. Sweet and innocently arrogant.

The major problem with that one “little” promise was how it shaped my world view and controlled my behavior until I reached an age, sadly not until a few years into college, where I was forced to face the reality of what it meant, in lieu of who I honestly found myself to be. I would not be able to save family and friends because I had to confess I was one of the most vile and evil sinners of all – a homosexual. Gasp. But, that is a whole different blog…

Basically I developed a really harsh, limited, and black and white view of the world. People were either good or evil. There was no such thing as grey. The grey aspect was part of the darkness trying to seduce us away from the light of God. Everything I witnessed, experienced, thought about, and talked about was colored by this world view. It was not a kind view of the world. It was depressing to see all the evil rampant (per my perception, not necessarily reality). I preferred to be dead and in heaven than alive on this dark earth. Yet, even with many attempts, I stayed because I promised to sacrifice myself for those I loved, if they hadn’t accepted Jesus.

There were many lessons in life that I believe God brought my way to clear and straighten out my twisted and dark vision of this world. Many people I met who made me question the legitimacy of my world view. 

And most recently an even deeper lesson has been percolating within me. In people I would consider the evilest of people, they too contain the light of God. They too can show love, as limited as it may be. They too strive to make things right, as counter-intuitive to me it may seem. And those I encountered in my personal life that I once called evil, well there are others who have seen their good side. Could it be that we really are a mixture of these polarities and depending on who we mix with, one side may become more prevalent than the other in their company?

Can there be people who, naturally inclined to be kind, generous, loving, bring out the worst in another naturally kind, generous, and loving person whereby unintentionally causing pain to those they love? Maybe it isn’t about one being evil and the other good. Maybe it really is we are all a mix of evil and good (with a dose of Karma thrown in). And instead of calling it evil and good, maybe call it our animal nature vs soul nature. Maybe there is a scale, like the Kinsey scale of sexuality, which measures the strength/visibility of the light of God within a person. Some are on one end of the scale with their light more hidden like on a dark cloudy day, but the light is still underneath the clouds. Some may be in the middle, where it is a semi-sunny or grey sky,  then we have the people on the other end with more sun shining than clouds covering their light.

For all those I judged and called evil, my sincerest apologies. I was wrong. We all carry the divine qualities and light of God and all deserve basic respect for that. 

Feed The People

Last night I had a dream of Sidi. This is only my second dream I have ever had of him, which I can recall. It was beautiful. I was with three USHS teachers, not sure which three, and one was standing in front of a podium asking Sidi if we should move forward with holding a class that night, in lieu of all that had happened. If we were going to, the teacher explained to Sidi, we needed to turn the satellite on for it to warm up in time for the class.

Sidi looked at us and said “Feed the people”. That was all he said and then I awoke.

It fits Sidi so well. “Feed the people”.

I contemplated it and felt into the many levels of meanings that statement seems to contain.

First there is the level of physical (body). Sidi was always taking care of feeding the people with the physical food needed to sustain their bodies. He knew, way before “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs” came along, that in order for people to be able to have the energy or time to seek the spiritual side of life, they needed their basic needs met. We are to continue to carry on that work of sharing what we have with those that don’t have.

Second there is the level of emotional (heart). Sidi gave us the gifts of the healing prayers, surah’s, and remedies. Once people are cared for physically, they can see the need for emotional feeding, healing, and support. And as it goes, when emotional healing happens more physical health and healing happen as well.

Third there is the level of mental (mind). Sidi blessed us with many books that teach what he learned from his teachers. The message of Peace, Love, Mercy, Justice, and Freedom that was passed down from the very first teacher and founder of the Shadhiliyya path, Abul Hasan Ali ash-Shadhili. Once we are physically cared for and emotionally healthy we can then begin to search for meaning to our existence. That starts with studying the teachings and learning the cosmology of the Sufi path.

Fourth there is the level of the spiritual (soul). This is where the rubber hits the road. Once all other needs are met and the spark of our divine purpose is ignited we will seek how to live that out. How do we now, take what we have been given, and feed the people. How do we practice surrendering to Allah and moving from a place of integrity within our essence to express that moment to moment; interaction to interaction.

At each of these levels there is a way for us, in that place, to feed the people around us or in a place that we have just come from. Sidi has never asked us to be that which we are not. He has always challenged us to be who we are and to serve Allah and people (which are really reflections of Allah).

And the best part of all of this is – you don’t have to be a Sufi to do this or understand this. Every mystical path contains this, using their own vocabulary or concept for “The One”. Every spiritual path has value. Sufism works for me, and that is why I write about it. But it doesn’t mean I think it is what everyone must be or follow. How boring would that be?!

I pray I am able to “Feed the people (and animals)” in a way that is honest with what I am. I pray we all can do the same. Feed the bodies, hearts, minds, and souls of our fellow humans and animals we share this planet with. Blessings to you all.

Indoctrination or developing a relationship

It feels like the inner meaning of taking kids to church/mosque/synagogue/religious services has been lost in thinking it is to indoctrinate them into a specific world view and the "one true" perspective on God. Is the real reason actually to help them develop a relationship with God as they understand God to be? This would help in the moments when it seems nothing is going right - you could return to face God and dive into God's love and feel God's presence around you. This would help develop and increase inner strength and fortitude which is needed throughout life.